A husband and his wife were talking one day and the husband asked his wife why she never lost her temper when they had an argument. She told him that she handled her anger in a different way. He asked her to tell him her secret. She told him that she cleaned the toilet bowl after every argument they had. He could not understand how that helped. She explained that she used his toothbrush to do the cleaning.
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A man sees a fine looking woman at a bar. He steps over to her an says, "Hey baby, let me suck on your nipples." She says, "Watch it buddy, I’ll have my boyfriend kick your ass." He laughs and says, "Alright, why don’t I just give you a big sloppy kiss then." She says, "Listen, if you say one more thing to me, I will have my man kill you." "This is my final offer", he says, "I’ll hold you upside-down, pour beer into your pussy, and drink from your cunt." She gets up, walks over to her boyfriend, tells him this guy said he was going to lick her tits. He yells, "I’ll kill him!" She then tells him he was going to kiss her. By now he’s pissed and starts walking in his direction. She says, "Wait! He also said he would hang me by my ankles, pour beer down my twat, and drink from me!" Her boy friend stops and say’s "Sorry babe, I can’t fuck with anyone who can drink that much beer."
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Q. What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
A. Beef strokin’ off.
Q. Why is the space between a woman’s breasts and her hips called a waist?
A. Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
Q. What’s the only animal with an asshole in the middle of its back?
A. A police horse.
Q. What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs?
A. An elephant with diarrhea.
Q. What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. Wiped his ass.
Q. How do you know when you are getting old?
A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
Q. What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
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