there were two dudes at the races, on the otherside of the stand they both see a chick wearing a dress with her legs open one of the guys thought he could see her black undies, the other reckoned it was her pubic hairs.. so they told the peanut boy to go drop some peanuts infront of her and look up. he did that and went back to the guys and said ’ you both were wrong, it was a bunch of flies’

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A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny’s propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture. Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of sex education from the class. One little boy raises his hand, "I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs.""Very good, William," cooed the teacher. "My mommy had a baby," said little Esther. "Oh, that’s nice," replied the teacher. Finally, little Johnny raises his hand. With much fear and trepidation the teacher calls on him. "I was watchin’ TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians. And they all attacked at one time. And he killed every one of them with his two guns." The teacher was relieved but puzzled, "And what does that have to do with sex education, Johnny?" "It’ll teach those Indians not to fuck with the Lone Ranger."

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A man walks into a doctor’s office. The doctor askes, "Why are you late?" The man answers, "I couldn’t find my car keys." The doctor askes why so the man explains, "Last night me and my wife were having sex and I banged her on the dresser. When she screamed I thought she was having an orgasm, and when I saw the blood I thought she was on her period and I kept going. This morning I got into my car and I couldn’t find my car keys. So I went back into my house and my wife told me the shocking horrible truth." The doctor asks, "So where were your car keys?" "UP HER CUNT YOU FUCKING IDIOT."