Three little kids are sitting a staircase in the middle of the projects. They are, as all little kids have a tendancy to do, daydreaming and sharing them with their friends. The first little kid says "Man, I wish I was made entirely out of gold."The other kids ask: "Why gold?"The first kid replies: "Because I would break off my pinky and buy that porsche over there." The second kids says :"Well, I wish I was made entirely out of platinum, so I could break off my pinky nail and buy that Cadillac over there." The third kid thinks about it and says "I wish I was made entirely out of hair"The other two kids are laughing their asses off: "You’re so stupid, why would you want to be made out of hair?"The third kid replies making the ’okay’ signal with his hand "Because my mom has a patch about THIS big and owns both those cars."
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A small alien from a faraway planet lands on Earth. This alien is hella horny and loves to give head. The alien hides in a carrot which a farmers wife picks and puts in a soup. The farmer and his wife have this soup and the wife happens to eat the soup with the alein in it. After dinner they have anal sex. The farmer says out of nowhere, "Did you just shit?" The wife says, "No why?" The farmer replies, "Cause I think my dick just sunk into it."
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A white woman walks a Japanese man into her house and asks him to take his clothes off. After this she looks at him in amazement and askes, "where did you get that huge dick from, I thought Asians have small dicks?" He replies, "Well let’s just say that after my parents gave this to me I agree with the bombing in Hiroshima
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The Reverends Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, while visiting a primary school class, found themselves in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked both men if they would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy." So the illustrious Rev Jackson asks the class for an example of a "tragedy." One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy." No," says the Great Jesse Jackson, "that would be an accident." A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy." I’m afraid not," explains the exalted Reverend! Al. "That’s what we would call a great loss." The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Reverend Al searches the room. "Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally at the back of the room little Johnny raises his hand. In a stern voice he says: "If a plane carrying the Reverends Jackson and Sharpton were struck by a missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy." Fantastic!" exclaims Jackson and Sharpton, "That’s right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?" "Well," says little Johnny, "because it sure as hell wouldn’t be a great loss, and it probably wouldn’t be a fucking accident either."